Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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