is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
