just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
