A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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