We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
