That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
