guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
