I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
