Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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