So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
