i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
