I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize