is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
