so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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