it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
