Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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