First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
