I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Alive.
So much puke
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
