i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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