So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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