There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Drunk is a universal language darling
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