I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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