tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
