Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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