I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
