just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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