Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
