No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think my mom watched the whole time
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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