Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
