I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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