you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
