Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We have started to decorate penises.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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