i love accidental penises.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
