break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
