Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
