You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
