shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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