You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
