He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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