who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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