I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
