My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
