Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
