# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
