I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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