Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
