i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize