That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
