i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
