As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
