I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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