I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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