U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
