I will die if light touches me.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
