I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
