He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
