i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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