we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize