Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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