Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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