Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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