THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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