We're facebook friends in real life
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
