Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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